xxlucyferxx: (Die)
[personal profile] xxlucyferxx
Title: Why Narnia Is Not Ruled By Republicans
Rating: G
Characters: Caspian, Eustace, Edmund, Reepicheep, Lucy (no pairing)
Disclaimer: Most people I know call me Lucy, or some variation thereof. It can therefore be inferred that my name is not Clive and, subsequently, that I did not write The Chronicles of Narnia.

Summary: Set towards the beginning of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. There are many things Caspian and Eustace cannot see eye to eye on. Politics is one of them.
Notes: Pointless little one-shot that just insisted on being written. Inspiration is taken from Chapter 2 of VoDT: "They call him a King. I said I was a Republican but he had to ask me what that meant! He doesn't seem to know anything at all."

“Edmund, can you tell me what a prime minstrel is?”

 

Edmund turned to stare at King Caspian, utterly confused. “I don’t think I can,” he replied. “I’ve never heard of one. Where did you get that from?”

 

“Oh, Eustace was talking about it earlier,” said the King. “He was carrying on about how useless royalty was, and when I tried to explain my duties to him he said Narnia ought to have a prime minstrel instead. I rather suspect that he was giving me cheek, but I wasn’t sure quite what to say.”

 

Edmund had to bite back a laugh as Caspian stopped talking and looked at him expectantly. “Oh,” he said, keeping his voice meticulously level, “I suppose you meant a Prime Minister.” He hesitated, trying to figure out the best way to explain the concept. “A Prime Minister is sort of like a Governor. Every few years the population vote on who’s going to be Prime Minister, and the selected man and his party are in charge of running the country until the next vote.”

 

“That isn’t a very good way to rule a country,” said Caspian bluntly. “Why, anyone might get elected! One cannot simply pluck one’s monarchy from the common streets, only to put them back a little while later and select a new batch. Has your country no royal family of its own?”

 

“Well, that’s the thing. We have a king, too. English politics are fairly complicated, you see.”

 

Caspian frowned thoughtfully. “Is your King an idler and a wastrel?” he asked, sounding appalled. “Why can he not rule his country without the aid of these Prime Ministers?”

 

Edmund shook his head. “It’s not like that in England. The Royal Family are there, but they don’t really have any authority.”

 

“Well then, why bother with them at all?”

 

“It’s tradition,” Edmund explained, as the Narnian King stared at him in plain astonishment. “England has always been a monarchy. But modern citizens want to have a choice of who governs them instead of the authority being passed down through bloodlines, so they’ve let the monarchy take a backseat. The King can fire the Prime Minister if he really wants to, but all the daily duties and political negotiations fall on the elected government.”

 

“By the lion!” exclaimed Caspian. “What is the use of a King who does nothing to defend his people? He is sitting in his castle, consuming the country’s resources and giving nothing back to his subjects. It really is insufferable,” he sniffed, shaking his head angrily.

 

“What’s all this about?” said a new voice. Eustace had emerged from their shared cabin, and was watching the two curiously. “Goodness, do you mean to say you’ve finally understood what I was trying to tell you before?” he said, addressing Caspian snidely. “The Royal Family is a waste of time and money. You just admitted it yourself.”

 

Caspian glared irritably at the insolent boy, but forcibly bit back the urge to draw his sword and challenge the miserable creature to a duel. It really wasn’t worth it. “That judgement does not extend to my line,” he said haughtily. “I work hard to be worthy of the trust my people place in me.”

 

“Who’s to say they trust you at all?” persisted Eustace, oblivious or indifferent to the fine line he was treading. “They haven’t been given a choice. You’re in charge because you were born that way, not because you’re any more fit for the job than anyone else.”

 

“You seem hardly to understand the role of a King in the civilised world,” said Caspian, his tone curt. “What better way to determine the country’s leaders than by birthright? It is a King’s duty to mould his son’s moral character from birth, and to provide him with all the necessary training so that he can become a wise and kindly leader one day. If we let any old civilian take over the throne, we would end up with some bad eggs leading the country. Not all strangers make such excellent leaders as Edmund and his family,” he added, with an apologetic glance at the other king.

 

“Don’t me daft. Politicians spend years studying and campaigning. Everyone has the right to choose who they let govern them. That’s why…”

 

It was too much for Edmund. Sensing a long and tedious argument brewing, and not wishing to get caught in the crossfire, he fled the cabin and went to find Lucy. His young sister was sitting out on the poop deck, talking amiably with Reepicheep. He flopped down beside them, groaning.

 

“What’s Caspian up to?” asked Lucy idly. “He seemed rather agitated just now, when he walked past. Has something happened?”

 

“He’s below deck, talking politics with Eustace.” No more needed to be said; the girl and the Mouse made small sympathetic noises.

 

“Honestly, when will Caspian learn?” sighed Lucy. “It’s no good arguing with Eustace about these things. It’ll only end in tears.”

 

Right on cue, Caspian came storming out onto the deck looking immensely irritated. “I am not a tyrant, am I?” he all but snarled at the trio.

 

“Certainly not, Sire,” said Reepicheep immediately, leaping to his feet respectfully. “You are a most just and kindly king, and your men follow you with nothing but love and loyalty.” Behind the Mouse, Edmund could not help but roll his eyes. Caspian had changed a lot since their last visit to Narnia, but Edmund never remembered him having had such a temper before. He supposed it was just part of being sixteen years old; he grinned to himself at the thought. It was strange to be so much older than Caspian, at the same time as being so much younger than him.

 

“I do not much care for your government,” he told Edmund seriously, calming down slightly. “Why, I know I wouldn’t want to entrust Narnia’s welfare to…Republicans. They sound a right useless lot to me.”

 

Edmund grinned. “That they are, Caspian. That they are.”

 

He made a mental note never to let Eustace mention politics again.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 09:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mk-tortie.livejournal.com
Followed your link over at the Narnia fic comm - this is a very funny one shot! Really enjoyed reading it :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 11:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xxlucyferxx.livejournal.com
Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it. <33

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 11:51 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 11:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xxlucyferxx.livejournal.com
Thank you! <3

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 02:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lassiterfics.livejournal.com
GENIUS. I love it.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 11:46 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 03:27 pm (UTC)
ext_42328: Language is my playground (Default)
From: [identity profile] ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com
BWHAHAHAA!

I love this. So very, very much.

And that's reminded me- I suppose I need to thread Eustace into my VOTD cycle. And his Republicanism, I guess. Geez, Caspian's so cranky with Edmund at this point, he probably will toss Eustace over the rail if Eustace starts in on him...

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xxlucyferxx.livejournal.com
Haha...oh, you really must. I wish he WOULD toss Eustace over...it took me all my restraint not to do it myself.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-09 01:25 am (UTC)
ext_42328: Language is my playground (Default)
From: [identity profile] ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com
I shall! (Apologies if there ends up being crossover between your Eustace and mine, I've not given any thought to him until now. My Ed and my Caspian are set in stone, but Eustace is vulnerable to picking up influences from other people's fic.)

Damnit, that VOTD cycle is just getting out of control. *frowns* Peter needs a piece too, which will mess up my ending.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 04:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladywater.livejournal.com
Ahahaha. That was delightful. "I'm not a tyrant, am I?"

:)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xxlucyferxx.livejournal.com
Thanks! <333

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 04:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swift-tales.livejournal.com
*happy grin*

Oh yes! Poor Caspian is horribly and totally not in a position to understand current politics. To modern ways of ruling one must understand the history behind it (you know, kings and queens abusing their authority) which Caspian obviously doesn't know.

I really liked this :D

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xxlucyferxx.livejournal.com
Heheh, poor Caspian indeed...I'm biting back the urge to write a Caspian-in-England story right now, and I don't think he'd be able to COPE if he witnessed English politics first-hand.

Thanks for commenting!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rebeccama.livejournal.com
Interesting. I've seen several stories deal with characters realizing how hard it would be to explain Narnia to people in England, but I never really thought of the reverse.

“Edmund, can you tell me what a prime minstrel is?”

I just know I am going to end up thinking about that line while watching the news.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xxlucyferxx.livejournal.com
Thanks so much!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 10:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burntcopper.livejournal.com
:snerk: oh,Eustace. At least you (probably) didn't get to why we cut our king's head off...

Now seeing Caspian getting *major* headache from Edmund trying to explain the Corn Laws. And all the rest of it. Though he'd probably get 'well, let's see, he was trying to make alliances with these other rulers'

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-08 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xxlucyferxx.livejournal.com
Oh dear, that would be just...*breaks off giggling* Ahh, poor Caspian.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-10 07:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladylapislazuli.livejournal.com
*snickers* Loved it! Ah, poor, confused Caspian.

:D

(no subject)

Date: 2008-08-12 10:03 pm (UTC)
tree_and_leaf: Isolated tree in leaf, against blue sky. (Default)
From: [personal profile] tree_and_leaf
Brilliant! *g*

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