And So Sanity Got Up And Left

[xxlucyferxx]

Title: And So Sanity Got Up And Left
Rating: PG
Pairing: Caspian/Edmund
Dedication: To my beautiful sister ladylapislazuli  - I was going to make this fluffy for you, but you know what I'm like. I just can't help myself.

Notes: This one's for prompt #11 - 'What if we fell in love?' at 100foraslan . I'm probably embarrassing myself, since I wrote it just this morning and it's more or less unedited, but I can't be bothered with my usual perfectionism today.

Caspian is not an easy person to care about.

 

There are times when Edmund wonders whether it’s worth all the trouble. Whether Caspian mightn’t have been right after all when he’d said he wasn’t ready to be king. There are many ways, he thinks, in which the Telmarine monarch is still a child. He’s stubborn and temperamental. Sometimes he loses his temper for no reason at all. Sometimes he’s self-pitying and impossible to deal with.

 

At royal functions, Edmund sits quietly and rolls his eyes as Caspian flirts shamelessly with the ladies of the court. He doesn’t mean anything by it, but none of the ladies realise that. They’re all completely under his spell.

 

Edmund doesn’t blame them. Sometimes he wonders whether he isn’t a bit enchanted himself.

 

Today, he’s been dragged into the study with Caspian to look at some supposedly troublesome loophole in Narnia’s trade agreements with Archenland. Caspian is leaning over a piece of parchment, russet hair falling forward over his face, and it strikes Edmund how easy it would be to make Caspian fall for him. Because at the heart of all Caspian’s flirtatiousness, his quick temper and his inexplicable bouts of sullenness, is a desperate craving for approval and affection. It’s an unforgivable flaw in a king, who cannot afford to need to be liked by all his subjects. But Edmund knows that he’ll never exploit this vulnerability – and for all he knows, he’s the only one that even sees it. For all he knows, Caspian has everyone else fooled.

 

Wordlessly, Caspian reaches out to hand over the paper he’s been working on. Their fingers brush, and Edmund feels a jolt of warmth run down his arm and into his stomach. Their eyes meet, and Caspian smiles – a nervous, uncertain smile. He’s noticed as well, then.

 

Edmund smiles back, and turns his gaze to the parchment as casually as he can. It would be so easy to just lean over the desk, to press his lips to Caspian’s and kiss him until all trade agreements and politics and matters of state fade to utter insignificance. But he won’t. Falling in love with Caspian would be a disaster – a blissful, cathartic, delicious disaster, but a disaster nonetheless. Because regardless of his charm, Caspian isn’t ready to fall in love. He’s too difficult, too uncertain of himself.

 

And it’s altogether too easy to love him for it.

Comments

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

I love Edmund's self-control and quiet observations...and I think Caspian's characterization is right on target.

Edmund may not choose at this time to "make" Caspian fall for him; but that doesn't mean Caspian himself has no ideas on the subject.

*eyes the last two paragraphs with interest*

[xxlucyferxx.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm really pleased to hear that about the characterisation actually, because I was a bit worried about it when I posted...I've been trying to avoid making them seem too angsty and OOC.

Oh, Caspian has ideas alright. In fact, I'm feeling a sequel coming on in which he elaborates a bit more on those ideas. Hmm.

*wanders off thinking*

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

I don't think either Peter or Susan would see Caspian dispassionately enough, for various reasons, to realize *why* he does these things. Lucy *might* understand, but she's too sympathetic to be anyone's emotional anchor.

Often, people focus on Edmund's sharp wit and forget that he was also a gravely kind and fair man, as an adult. IMO, he really grew into the best-balanced of all of them, and he never forgot anything he'd done, that helped make him who he was.That kind of maturity would be very attractive someone who's world has been overturned and who never had much emotional wealth to begin with, I imagine...attractive to anyone. :)

I'm happy to hear you've got more planned, because this really does feel like the first of something. :)

[xxlucyferxx.livejournal.com]

I try to avoid going the whole 'Emo!Caspian has serious mental issues because of his loveless childhood' route because I know it's rather cliche, but I cannot help seeing Caspian as, well, a little bit messed up. Not that he's admitting to that...he's not the most introspective fellow. I don't think he really sees anything of his own behaviours and motivations beyond what he's feeling at any given moment, and what he's been taught he should be feeling.

Edmund is an absolute sweetheart. People often seem to overlook the fact that he is, above all else, the Just King. His apparent detachment from personal situations is what enables him to be more insightful than just about anybody else. Because he's had plenty of experiences that put him in touch with his 'dark' side, he's more willing to see the dark in other people as well without necessarily judging them unfavourably for it.

Dammit, when I set out writing it this morning I just thought it was going to be 400 words That Is All Thank You Very Much, but by the time I'd finished writing it had thoroughly taken hold. I really would like to expand on this...my muse has been flirting with something along these lines for a while, but it hasn't been working out. Now, FINALLY, I might just have a grasp of it. :D