this, for example, was bloody well awesome. As was 'playing quoits with crowns'.
Here, look at this bit:
Edmund smiles back, and turns his gaze to the parchment as casually as he can. It would be so easy to just lean over the desk, to press his lips to Caspian’s and kiss him until all trade agreements and politics and matters of state fade to utter insignificance. But he won’t. Falling in love with Caspian would be a disaster – a blissful, cathartic, delicious disaster, but a disaster nonetheless. Because regardless of his charm, Caspian isn’t ready to fall in love. He’s too difficult, too uncertain of himself.
And it’s altogether too easy to love him for it.
I usually just flail at you and say your fic is awesome without stopping and saying why. Allow me to point out why: it's things like this bit I just quoted, where you write with both incredibly sharp human insight, and a lovely sense of balance in the wording itself.
I was going to say 'see, this is nothing like Teenage Writing', except that's not true at all. It's nothing like the kind of Teenage Fanfic you're trying to avoid. I suspect that being a teenager, and an emotionally high-strung teenager to boot is a good part of what produces these sorts of insights.
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this, for example, was bloody well awesome. As was 'playing quoits with crowns'.
Here, look at this bit:
Edmund smiles back, and turns his gaze to the parchment as casually as he can. It would be so easy to just lean over the desk, to press his lips to Caspian’s and kiss him until all trade agreements and politics and matters of state fade to utter insignificance. But he won’t. Falling in love with Caspian would be a disaster – a blissful, cathartic, delicious disaster, but a disaster nonetheless. Because regardless of his charm, Caspian isn’t ready to fall in love. He’s too difficult, too uncertain of himself.
And it’s altogether too easy to love him for it.
I usually just flail at you and say your fic is awesome without stopping and saying why. Allow me to point out why: it's things like this bit I just quoted, where you write with both incredibly sharp human insight, and a lovely sense of balance in the wording itself.
I was going to say 'see, this is nothing like Teenage Writing', except that's not true at all. It's nothing like the kind of Teenage Fanfic you're trying to avoid. I suspect that being a teenager, and an emotionally high-strung teenager to boot is a good part of what produces these sorts of insights.
SO NER.